Huge inactivity *possibly leaving?

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Huge inactivity *possibly leaving?

Post by jandavey on 10/16/2014, 9:04 pm

Sadly, I have no idea if or when I come back. I have a couple reasons, and I shall state them here, but not all. Some are too personal.

1. School; I've taken up AVID which is a college preparatory class. (Not an AP class) Basically we are taught to take notes effectively, efficiently, (only writing down what's important in a lecture, abbreviating, etc.) and neatly. Other things they do for us is involve tutoring for all four classes if we need help. Also we get a lot of college information and go on field trips to colleges and such. (Tomorrow we go to UC Berkeley) Deadlines, how to write your application, colleges that have your degree, and well, you get the idea. Sadly it's very competitive, requiring a lot of work outside of school each day. I even need time to do work on a Saturday. Sundays I am never free, because I now in a Confirmandi program, (Catholic school stuff) read for the church on that day, then attend the mass. I lector once every month, go on Confirmandi every two weeks, go to mass every sunday. 

2. Home; I have a headache at the mention of this place. My grandmother left to PH temporarily leaving me to do tutoring for my brothers math homework. My brother hasn't done his own homework ever since pre-school. The sad part is, they are lengthy worksheets of homework that take forever to solve and explain. At the same time I need all my homework done too, but he's legitimately struggling. When I can't get my homework done when he can't get all his done and practically leaves everything for me and goes to watch TV or play minecraft, I'm blamed for "poor time management." I'm starting to have less and less time for minecraft or video games in general, I really need all the time I can get basically. 

3. (Not yet a problem) Service learning hours; in high school, to graduate I need 40 service learning hours. A local elementary school offers service learning hours to those who can tutor 5:30PM to 7:30PM for three weeks. This should get me halfway through the requirement. I don't know if I can or can not go. Until then...

4. Parents; My dad keeps playing extremely loud music, won't listen to anyone telling him to turn it down/off. He watches nonsense videos like ISIS shootings and war zones. Yet he criticizes everything we watch or listen to for being "boring." My mom has become extremely grouchy and doesn't understand that I have problems with my friends, school, my brother, and myself. She thinks I do nothing at home! She thinks the only thing I ever worry about is school and never need to worry about anything else. It's what she's been saying for days. She says she's the busiest person around and we are all doing nothing. She does nothing but insult me, my intelligence, and my ideas. When she sees I am hurt, just a few years back she said she would hate to compare me to other people. Now she tells me stories saying she was better than me, she says I am easily hurt. When you tell me I do nothing and have unhealthy sleep habits when I work almost all day on a project. Do you know how hurtful it is to tell me that one hour of sleep is stupid, and that I'm the reason she had an argument over it. Is it not hurtful to tell me I am stupid because my only low grade is Algebra when you yourself could barely pass it? Does it not burn a hole in my heart when I'm told everything I need on homework to be due is no longer relevant to her. When I need help, is it okay to be told I should just ask the teacher for help when all I wanted was for my homework to be done the next day when it was due. I am powerless.

5. I don't feel like it; it's not that I don't like minecraft or oasis. I just don't really feel like playing because so much conflict and school has just gotten in the way, don't know about Saturdays. Neither do I want to be told I'm doing nothing at home just for sitting in front of a screen for an hour after I've done everything else. 

I didn't mean for this to come off very emotional. I initially wanted to hide everything that was going on, but that's not a possibility. It's now driven me to complete inactivity. I don't know when I'm free of most problems, could be tomorrow, next week, or next month, or never. I don't know, but I won't be active at all this month for sure. When I do however become comfortable again, I'll come back.

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Re: Huge inactivity *possibly leaving?

Post by Shnoork on 10/16/2014, 9:28 pm

Well Jan, I really do hope to see these things clear up for you. I recall you talking about things very similar to this in the past. Sometimes all we can do is make do.

If I could offer any advice, however, its not to let your schedule be dictated by anyone but you. Always, always, ALWAYS schedule in good sleeping hours. Gotta let yourself have time to relax, too. Otherwise that schedule of yours will just crush you. Stay well, your highness.

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Re: Huge inactivity *possibly leaving?

Post by ThunderHorse on 10/16/2014, 9:46 pm

Sorry to hear this jand and I have been in your shoes as well with your parents bothering you. My mom always yells at me for "not working" when i'm moving a pallet of cynder blocks while shes on her phone texting or something like this.

I hope you will be able to come back soon. We will be here waiting

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Re: Huge inactivity *possibly leaving?

Post by retkojy on 10/16/2014, 10:33 pm

Hmmmm... U just made me sad jand u were a great friend and leaf I'm sorry I have to go but I will be here when u get back and I'm sure most others will be to I don't want to say bye so... Cya later jand ~ #rekt

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Re: Huge inactivity *possibly leaving?

Post by LordTomenon on 10/16/2014, 11:41 pm

I really don't know what to say.

Part of me really wants this to all be a joke, and keep on believing that you have a perfect life with much time for Oasis. But I know that we all have stuff in our life that just doesn't allow us the time to visit the other family or have a break when we need it the most.

After what Apple pulled on us all a few days ago, this really ripped me up.

I'd like to remind myself of when our friendship first started. I had just made a new town, Betula, and built a statue out of leaves. I then showed it to you, because of your fascination of them. Back then, I had never expected this. Even though this is happening, I never will regret being friends.

Come back to us as soon as possible Jan, please.
We still have to make Leafoman together, like you promised.

~LordT

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Re: Huge inactivity *possibly leaving?

Post by NostrumDomus on 10/17/2014, 11:31 am

Take care Jan. Without having to put much effort, the one thing I can say for sure is I know how you feel. I do. But i do know this. Try not to isolate yourself from those that do indeed care about you. It will only bring you more sadness. Trust me, I know. You don't have to do much, but keep in contact with those who are fully willing to do so. This way you have a grip, and leverage to that which you truly need. Keep in touch, okay?

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Re: Huge inactivity *possibly leaving?

Post by 4emersons on 10/17/2014, 1:41 pm

Good luck with the real life stuff. I can't say I know how bad it feels to be in your situation, but I can tell you that if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you. And like a couple others said, always make time for sleep. Sleep is an absolute necessity. And, as Nos said, be sure to stay in contact with people who care about you. If all you are around are people who don't care, it will put you in a deep pit of sadness. 

I will be praying for you.

Take care,
-Ben

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Re: Huge inactivity *possibly leaving?

Post by OasisMaximus on 10/17/2014, 2:31 pm

Noh jand :'(
i'm gonna miss you and your leafy friends.

I wish you the very best. Stay strong, if you ever need help the whole Oasis community will support you

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Re: Huge inactivity *possibly leaving?

Post by robbie291 on 10/18/2014, 12:18 pm

Jand I hate to hear that you wont be around as often....your always helpful and fun to be around.  i hope things in your personal/home life settle down and your able to come back to Oasis on a regular basis. Take care and hope to see you on the the server from time to time.

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